Papa. Daddy.

sometimes we call todd papa and sometimes we call him daddy. but i don't think it matters. all loralai knows is that he's the greatest man she's ever known. she looks at him and just grins and then does this half little cackle laugh.

there's something so special between a daddy and his little girl.

i try telling todd - really impressing it upon his heart - the importance, and weight really, of how much is love for her will affect the rest of her life. forever, he will be the one she compares all boys, guys, men to. he knows this. i know he does. but not having a dad, and having had a dad who struggled to stay emotionally present for some time, has made me want to give loralai the security in that part of her life that i didn't have.

it's important.

being a dad is important. being a parent is important. it's hard. it's rewarding. it's exciting. it's precious and tender and filled with snuggles and more love than a heart should be capable of holding.

i have fond memories of my dad. we rubbed noses - eskimo kisses. every night before bed, he would come and tuck me in and before he kissed me goodnight we would rub noses. sounds silly, i'm sure. he had little nicknames for me: shoogs, booger-bear, boogs, ashley mac. i liked crawling in bed with him in the mornings - he called himself the heater - that man's body temperature alone could have heated a room. i liked snuggling with him in his recliner.

i can't speak for sons, but for daughters, in a dad's arms is where you feel safe.

dads are called to be a reflection of God - they are the example of the Father. that's huge. and i'm thankful for that calling. i'm thankful, also, that God gave me todd. that he gave me todd for loralai. because in his arms she is safe. he prays for her, adores her and tries hard, daily, to become a better man, a better christian, a better husband, and a better friend so that he can show her more clearly what the face of God looks like. being a dad has changed him. it's made his purpose greater and sweeter.

i hope one day she'll know how much he loves her. and i hope that when she says the word 'dad' that she holds it dear to her heart - that she feels the unfailing love that comes from the Father.

....this weekend was wonderful. loralai had her first trip to the beach. it was finally overcast enough for us to head out. it's been so hot lately that we haven't gone during the day time. so we went around 5:00 this weekend. it was perfect. i've never seen our baby NOT smile so much. she was so serious - her eyes were darting everywhere. i can't imagine the newness of it all. her toes dipped into the ocean and her little feet started dancing a wild little jig. it was so much fun.
happy father's day, papa, daddy, todd.