Thursday, November 12, 2009

learning to love.

we have a little girl. i know you know that. but she is such a little girl. she likes to put on our shoes. she likes to put on her pretend high heel shoes that her GiGi (my mom) gave her. she likes to put on her princess tiara, to put on my shirts, to pull my hair up from behind my head and tell me "i doin yer hair mommy", to dance dance dance to music and to make her daddy's heart melt just with her smile.

we're seeing so much sweetness pour out of her little life. and she has no idea that her capacity to love is changing our hearts: todd's and mine. but she's changing us. because as he and i stand in the kitchen hugging after he comes home from work, we hear, "aaawwww. huuug." and then our little loralai runs over to us, puts her arms around both our legs and looks up and says "hug?" so we pick her up and the three of us hug.

and just when todd is least expecting it, loralai will walk over to him and hug his leg or his waist or his neck and say "aaawww." and to hear her talk to her daddy on the phone is like listening to a little girl pick up the phone to talk to her best friend. you've never heard a child talk so much - on the phone, at least. she clams up for all other people, on the phone, but not todd. nope. she gets out a book and starts "reading" it to him. saying, "see daddy? see da cow? yea? yea!" she smooches the phone, tells him she loves him and firmly reminds him to "make da bacon daddy!" he melts. i smile.

her love is constantly shifting our hearts. knowing how precious our every word is around her makes us want to love better. it makes us want to know Love better so that we can teach her, form her and be a safe place for her to land when the world is too much. a safe place to come when the questions finally start.

i know that all parents love their babies. our love probably isn't any more unique than yours, but it's ours. and we know no other baby. and i don't think that todd or i could ever imagine where our marriage would be if God hadn't given us this life that points directly back to Him.

after all, when you start making forts and teaching a little one to cook and manners and you start hearing: daddy, make a port? mommy, git in da port, ok? daddy, i need more crackas, peeeeez. thank yeeewww!: then you know that God created you for something more than just existing.

He made you to Live.

the other day i talked to loralai about being afraid. i reminded her that when she wakes in the night, that if she's afraid, to just say Jesus or to sing (or hum) the Jesus loves me song. and two nights ago, around 4a.m., i heard our sweet one wake from sleep and cry. but i waited. and from the monitor i heard the most angelic sound. it was the voice of the baby i carried in my womb and she was sweetly humming Jesus loves me.

and so she and i both fell back asleep to the reminder of the love of Jesus.

and just because i think it will make you smile: