changes

let me tell you about the changes going on 'round here lately.
we got back from florida about two weeks ago - a much needed vacation. much needed down time for the husband and wonderful time for he and the babe to bond. times together, like that, are priceless.

when we got back, we'd made our minds up that i would begin to ween loralai from nursing. woah is me. that's what i say about it. i know i can't go on nursing forever, but i love it. and my little talker loves it, too. if uncomfortable or nervous, she walks up to me and pulls at my shirt saying "muk muk." i know. to some of you squimish on nursing or thinking that her asking for milk is yucky, well let me set your minds at ease. it's neither yucky nor squimish evoking. instead, it's heartwarming and affirming to know that your body was created to help grow and comfort your baby - and it's done its job. i'm blessed to have a little one talk so early; it lets me know what's going on in that sweet little mind of hers.

which is why it's so hard for me to take away that little piece of comfort from her. but i know, i know. changes are sure to happen and changes are good (most of the time). it's part of letting go and nudging her towards a little more independence. but let me be honest - that's hard. it's hard to have been needed so much for a year and then not needed at all anymore. sure i'm needed for other things, but not to sustain her life anymore. i'm guessing you're picturing me with my hand on my forehead in a gone with the wind kind of pose - i'm not. but i'm just trying to be real. it's hard learning to let go - especially with your first baby.

so there's that. no more nursing during the day. just first thing in the morning and right before bedtime. those will be the last to go.

and i thought that was all the changes i was going to have to work for over the course of march and into april. but apparently my two nap a day (approx. 2hr each nap baby) baby has decided that she's not going to take two naps anymore. total shocker to my routine-oriented system. so yesterday was the first day of one nap. bad news. backfire.

she made it until 11:15 and then i put her in her crib where she firmly crashed into a deep sleep...for all of an hour and fifteen minutes. do whaaaat?! oh dear. i knew i was in for it. for the next three hours, it was fun time. but after four p.m., you could kiss our day goodbye. she fell three times over her own feet. one time she fell flat on her right cheek. she called for mommy, daddy, hewwwooo, bye bye, muk, cAt, maaaoowww...you get the picture. it was like loopy girl entered the room and started saying all of her words. so we ate dinner at 5 o'clock and lights were out at 5:45. blessed be.

changes are a comin' and they're wearing me out - emotionally.

though in the throws of the wound up one, yesterday, i did get one thing accomplished. a good workout. we were able to miss the insane afternoon crowd of big kids at the gym and go play with the little kids, in the morning, and i got to sweat. aaah sweat. but as we walked back into our house, my sweat turned to ice cycles on my skin. our heating unit broke. go figure. so that will be fixed....friday. not to worry, though. we have a fat little baby who was bundled in two warm layers of clothes on top of a thick fleece blanket. we knew she wouldn't freeze. and the house never dropped below 65 degrees. and we have great friends who loaned us two space heaters for tonight.

but what a wrench to throw in my already changing day.

and then there's the snot. which i attributed to more teeth coming in. how many teeth do these kids get, anyway? it seems like we should be done by now. right :) so in the middle of the night, twice, the little one wakes up, unable to breathe through her nose holes. and these holes are crucial to a good night's sleep since she does so loooove her middle and ring finger to suck on during sleep. and i figure it's impossible to suck when your nose is snot-filled. so maybe it's a cold and not teething or maybe it's pollen. i don't claim to know jack, at this point.

so the cold night's sleep was interrupted. aaah change.

where are you predictability?

i think the only thing predictable is change. it's inevitable and sometimes we have to roll with the punches. because really, these are small punches. and today, she's already slept an hour and forty minutes. so we're getting there....i suppose.

thanks for listening.

and while you have time, since you've the time to read this blog, click on the side button and pray for Stellan. he's in dire need of healing.