i know is true.

some things in my life i know to be true just because i know, without fail, that they'll happen, or exist, because they always have.

maddie dog will beg every time i eat popcorn (or anything for that matter).
and she'll poot because she's so excited about the prospect of food. and then todd will scrunch his nose and say that we just HAVE to do something about that. the pooting. but we never do. mainly because we can't.
frankie dog will say hello for a few minutes but will inevitably go and put herself to bed where she burrows her nose under her feet and only peeks her eyes up when you walk in the room - probably to make sure she isn't missing out on any food opportunity. our dogs love food. carrots in particular.
todd will always love playing guitar, listening to music i consider weird, like wearing hats, "forget" to brush his teeth on the weekend, and say he loves every meal i cook.
my mom will always love snuggling up in her flannel jammies. she'll always love hot tamale candies, a good sappy love story, hot chocolate (ok, anything chocolate), and laughing.
so you get the picture.
i think blogs are better with pictures to fill in the imaginery blanks but i don't have time for that tonight.
but i went running tonight and i thought - i will always love this. the feeling of running. and then breathing in cold air. i will always love the relaxed feeling that comes over me after a workout. i'll always love popcorn, chocolate, a good laugh, hugs from my mom, snuggles with my doggies, giggles from my baby and my husband's smile.
but something comes between me and all of this sweetness. at times it's just sadness. or a sense of being overwhelmed or tired or stressed or even anxiety.
and this is what i know to be true.
when i doubt, when i'm down, when i feel like it won't get better or i won't pull out of this funk...there is one who does. Jesus tells us to bring all sin to light. so if i go to him and confess where i'm struggling, i'm free. right. i'm free already because of my salvation. but there are times, it's true, where we get bogged down simply by living in the world. and so the truth of it all is that Jesus came to set us free. so that no longer would we be captives, but redeemed. so that even when the world says to give up, to walk away, to argue your point or satnd firm because you HAVE to be right. Jesus says to love. this i know to be true. it is. a friend reminded me of this tonight. she said, 'understanding God's word is the easy part. loving is the hard part.'
i know the cause and effect of things happening in this world and in the community around me. i see it and i get it.
but what i think we forget as a whole, as God's body of belivers - as his church - is that the greatest truth we have to offer in reflection of Jesus is his love. we are vessels of his love.

i'll always know that i'll love loralai. i know there won't be day that i'll look into her eyes and be completely thankful that God let me birth her. and as i stand in the kitchen and sing praises to God while she eats her carrots, i see a little smirk come across her face. and then her hands raise. it's true. maybe she's waving - she likes to do that. or maybe, maybe she's copying my hands that are lifted up. and maybe she's seeing me excited about the love i'm sharing for our God. and maybe in a few years, her hands lifted up won't be in reflection of her mama's but in praise of her Jesus.

for the glory of God, he made life. and in my life he has shown me his love in form of my family. and when i'm old and gray (ok, grayER), i want loralai (and our other baby(ies)) to be able to make a list of things they know to be true. and somewhere in the mix of their list, i hope it says something like 'and i know my mama and daddy will always love jesus. and i know that jesus loves me because the first time i saw my mama dancing for joy in the presence of jesus, i KNEW he must be real. cause for what other cause would a woman dance so crazily?' ...or something like that.

the power of the truth of the gospel lives in those who believe. and what a privelege it is to get to share that love, that truth, with our family. with our babies.