i am weak and he is strong.

have you ever had a week where God just worked you? you had friends coming at you with questions and God led you to scripture. specific scripture. and then you met a stranger, and God brought that same scripture to mind. not something regular or easy to share; something a little more. (not that there's anything regular about God). this was my week.

a friend is struggling with a best friend who is battling addiction with alcohol. another friend was confused why they're struggling with finances. and todd and i met someone today who instantly brought this scripture to life.

usually it's just me who talks to homeless people. but this time todd did. and he was going to give him just a few dollars from his wallet when i think we both knew that God wanted us to give him everything we had. it was only $10 but we gave it all. but something that i think surprised us both was when we drove away we told him something in the same tone that we would have if we were driving down the driveway away from one of our parents. we said, "i love you." and our friend replied back naturally, "i love you, too."

where does love like that come from? only Jesus.

it's true. it's only Jesus that exudes real love from mouths that just sinned seconds before. it's only Jesus who moves you to tears when you realize that you're blessed beyond measure. it's only Jesus who puts truth in your heart and helps you forgive when you've been sinned against. it's only Jesus who helps you beg for mercy when you feel lost. it's only Jesus who collides two worlds so that we can fully understand that in our weakness, he is the only strength we need.

do you understand? we're all the same. it's not the people that are bad but the sin. it's the sin that's bad.

i know some of you that read my blog aren't Christians and so when i write, i think about you and i know that you don't receive all that i'm saying as truth. but please know that i don't ever write to condemn you or to even convince you of the truth of Jesus. i do, however, want to just simply thank you for reading.

and i find myself desperate. i'm desperate for salvation for ones that are lost. i'm desperate for answers for those that have gone astray. i'm desperate for love to overflow for those that feel alone. and then God reminds me three times: my grace is sufficient, ashley. my power is made perfect in weakness. ...when your friend is in need, really in need and broken, it's then that they'll recall my name and call out to me. but it's only then, when they're truly broken, that they'll be able to receive me. because then, in their brokeness, they're finally humble enough to let me help. and remember, ashley, sometimes this brokeness comes in different forms. for some it's homelessness, addiction and sadness. for others it's losing a job, not getting an interview, a relationship breakup or pet dying. but just know that in everyone's despair, i am there and for them I AM. it's not for you to fix them, ashley. it's for you to love them. it IS for you to tell them, 'i love you', and then be surprised that you said those words and actually loved them. it IS for you to not tolerate sin but to also not condemn the sinner. only I can do that. it IS for you to come to me when you are weak so that i can remind you of my promises. it IS for you to also delight in your weaknesses and to know that you aren't the One who will bring all that you love to salvation, but when you know that you are weak in areas, you will allow me then to work through you. so that my power can be made perfect. because when you are weak, you are strong. I am strong. ashley, i am the I AM. rest in perfection and holiness so that you can rest knowing that your reflection of me is enough.

and that's what God spoke to me this week, three times. three times he spoke this verse to me. and in three different ways, i was able to help (maybe even just an inch). and then i was able to receive. and i was amazed. and i still am. but i delight in knowing that i am weak and fallible and growing and learning. i delight in knowing that i am in love with the King of the world. i delight in knowing that God's promises are true and that he makes no mistakes and that i'm blessed beyond my prayers, beyond what i think i desire. i am loved. without fail; despite my failings.

in it all, i know that when i am weak, i am strong. because when i am slow to speak, Jesus uses the body he created that his spirit entered in 1992 to somehow do some sort of heavenly good for the kingdom of God. and while it might not be earth shaking movement and good that i'm making, i want to call to mind 2 corinthians 12, often, so that i am reminded that the power of God is in me - me who is weak, and troubled, and imperfect. me who was so excited today that my husband and i loved someone we didn't know and were surprised. we were surprised to find love well up in us where Jesus already knew it existed.

that, is glory.

2 Cor 12
7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.