A Slower Sprint

I went for a run tonight while Todd held the baby. I say that I went for a run because that’s just my phrase for – I’m going for a walk and if the legs abide, I will try to run. So I tried. And it felt really good. The wind was blowing. It wasn’t too hot and I had some good music to listen to. But my sprint is slower.

At the end of my run, I always like to sprint. I think it feels good to push myself at the end of a run and go as hard and fast as my legs will take me. But I noticed that the speed I had a year ago isn’t there. I guess being pregnant for ten months takes a toll on the body. And so I suppose it will take time to regain that speed and my endurance. Just as it took time to have descent endurance, it will take time to build it back up.

On my cool down walking back home I started feeling relief. But not from my legs. I felt a confidence about my marriage and my ability to be a good mom – to have a strong family. God talks clearly about the influence of a wife, a mother, in her home. It’s powerful. And he talks about the influence that a husband, a father, has in his home. It’s powerful. Both roles are so important to a family – to children.

And as I walked home I felt God whispering in me – you will build it back up. My endurance will strengthen with time, with runs, with practice. And so will my family. So will my relationship with my husband and my ability to mother and minister to my baby. The pressure isn’t on me to be a perfect wife or mother. The pressure was lifted when Jesus lifted it for us – when we were saved. Now the pressure mounts when I am the one pressuring myself. When my expectations are too high on myself, I can feel my legs slowing down and my self-esteem lessening. God tells us to put our trust in Him so that he might work through us. If I will allow myself to be fully God’s, then none of the pressure that I feel will exist – and it certainly won’t interrupt the race I’m running.

You see, I’m running a race to completion. I’m in this life to make my mark and to cross the finish line with boldness – not with a walk or crawl or a meek final step that said ‘oh yea, she finished but only because she had to.’ No. I’m claiming victory over this life. I’m working at this marriage because I was so blessed to find a man who promised to love me forever and who joined a covenant with me before God. I’m claiming victory in our marriage because anything less would mean that the pressure mounted up and we tried taking control. But this time, this family is going to let God lead the way and leave the pressure behind. We’re going to run the race together so that we grow together and towards God. There will be no more disease, no more destruction, no more deceit, no more anger, no more unforgiveness or hate. There will be only love and peace built on days spent in the presence of the one who gave us such spirits.

It won’t happen in a day or in a month – but through the course of the race, obstacles surely standing in our way, we will learn to grow stronger together, building our endurance and persevering in a marriage, a family, that will pass down through the next generations, love. Love will abide in our family. Our children will know the heart of God because they saw it in their parents. And they’ll remember that it wasn’t a love that was bought or given without thought – it was delicately formed through lives that meditated on the love of the one who IS love.

Hallejuah, yea? Yea.

Hebrews 10:35-39
35So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 37For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. 38But my righteous one[f] will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."[g] 39But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.

Hebrews 12:1
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.