...a while ago i began doing devotionals - of sorts. i say of sorts because they mostly reflect on my walk and experiences. i share them, via email, with friends and family. and now, i suppose i'll share them here too. i hope they can somehow help you in your walk.
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Let this old life crumble. Let it fade. Let this new life offered be your saving grace. …you can rest. You will find rest.
Those are some of the lyrics to a song by Jeremy Camp. My husband likes to say that music soothes the soul of the savage beast (or something like that). But his point – music soothes us all. Somewhere there lives a song that speaks directly to our hearts. It slows us. We stop and listen to the words and in the melody, the lyrics, the beat – we find a little comfort.
After weeks of sleepless nights with a newborn, this song jumped out at me on the radio when I heard him say – you can rest. You will find rest.
I thought – reeeeally? When?
But then like God likes to do, he broke it down for me. Rest. Spiritual rest, Ashley.
For so long I’ve been pushing forward hard. My pregnancy was physically tough and took the wind out of my sails on more than one occasion. But it forced me to toughen up in places where I was admittedly too soft, and soften in places where I was too hard. And yet, still, as I enter motherhood, God is still breaking me of old habits.
Like control.
I’ve realized how different this new life of mine is. There isn’t a day that I’ve had in the past 6 weeks that are anything comparable to the days prior. Really. Not a moment is similar. And that takes adjustment and with that adjustment comes days of being exhausted. Physically and emotionally exhausted.
I’ve called out to God and begged him for rest – physically and emotionally. I’ve asked for hugs from Jesus and angels to guard my baby while my eyes are closed. And still I hear – Let this old life crumble. Let it fade. Let this new life offered be your saving grace.
Becoming a mom isn’t the new life offered. The new life was my salvation. But because I’m saved, I am walking in fellowship with Jesus. And every day, I have a choice: to ask the Holy Spirit to lead – or I can lead.
If you’ve never had a baby, you may not be able to feel this completely – but trust me when I say that being given charge over a life is the most blessed and vulnerable feeling you will ever feel. And initially, you may think that you can take control of the situation. You may think that because you’re an adult, you can handle your baby. But like Beth Moore says – when God gives you a calling, he follows it with a killing.
And after my sweet Loralai was born, God started killing off a bunch of old stuff. And slowly, it’s beginning to fade. I’m relinquishing control to God. I’m having quiet time at night. I’ve started journaling again. And I’ve surrendered my baby to a schedule of naps that, at first, seems like torture but when she rises from her slumber – I know that she and I have both found rest.
God is good. In his son we find rest.
Those are some of the lyrics to a song by Jeremy Camp. My husband likes to say that music soothes the soul of the savage beast (or something like that). But his point – music soothes us all. Somewhere there lives a song that speaks directly to our hearts. It slows us. We stop and listen to the words and in the melody, the lyrics, the beat – we find a little comfort.
After weeks of sleepless nights with a newborn, this song jumped out at me on the radio when I heard him say – you can rest. You will find rest.
I thought – reeeeally? When?
But then like God likes to do, he broke it down for me. Rest. Spiritual rest, Ashley.
For so long I’ve been pushing forward hard. My pregnancy was physically tough and took the wind out of my sails on more than one occasion. But it forced me to toughen up in places where I was admittedly too soft, and soften in places where I was too hard. And yet, still, as I enter motherhood, God is still breaking me of old habits.
Like control.
I’ve realized how different this new life of mine is. There isn’t a day that I’ve had in the past 6 weeks that are anything comparable to the days prior. Really. Not a moment is similar. And that takes adjustment and with that adjustment comes days of being exhausted. Physically and emotionally exhausted.
I’ve called out to God and begged him for rest – physically and emotionally. I’ve asked for hugs from Jesus and angels to guard my baby while my eyes are closed. And still I hear – Let this old life crumble. Let it fade. Let this new life offered be your saving grace.
Becoming a mom isn’t the new life offered. The new life was my salvation. But because I’m saved, I am walking in fellowship with Jesus. And every day, I have a choice: to ask the Holy Spirit to lead – or I can lead.
If you’ve never had a baby, you may not be able to feel this completely – but trust me when I say that being given charge over a life is the most blessed and vulnerable feeling you will ever feel. And initially, you may think that you can take control of the situation. You may think that because you’re an adult, you can handle your baby. But like Beth Moore says – when God gives you a calling, he follows it with a killing.
And after my sweet Loralai was born, God started killing off a bunch of old stuff. And slowly, it’s beginning to fade. I’m relinquishing control to God. I’m having quiet time at night. I’ve started journaling again. And I’ve surrendered my baby to a schedule of naps that, at first, seems like torture but when she rises from her slumber – I know that she and I have both found rest.
God is good. In his son we find rest.
http://www.myspace.com/jeremycamp
Psalm 62:5-8
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Selah
Matthew 11:28-30
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light
Psalm 62:5-8
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Selah
Matthew 11:28-30
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light
2Cor 12:7-10
7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 comments:
That was great Ashley.
Thanks!
I missed reading your devotionals! I'm so glad you're finding rest in the midst of the craziness that is mommyhood.
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