this blog isn't so much a blog as it is a copy and paste. it's a letter i wrote to family and friends, yesterday. and it's about a friend of mine, our church, and our Jesus. and it's a beautiful story of redemption. i hope it, and the video linked, will somehow move you one step closer to Love. He's waiting.
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hi everyone,
i have some good news i want to share with you.
last weekend in wilmington was something else. as a matter of fact, my heart is pounding as i write this to you. so here's what went down. and where ever you stand right now, please just hear me (read me) out. know my motives and my heart as your friend, and then let what i have to say and what you hear, following, soak in. it's surely to change you.
in 1997, i had the sweet privilege to meet a girl who i thought was a total california cheerleader dyed blonde goof. well ok, she was all of those things. but she was more. she was hilarious, insanely intelligent, beautiful, tender-hearted and loyal. it's one of those hindsight things where you look back ten+ years later and know for sure and certain that it was no coincidence in your meeting. our lives didn't happenstance on the other's. we were 17. and last sunday, we were thirty. it was her birthday. and in so many ways, it was her BIRTH day.
we roomed together for a while in college but then went our separate ways. i was saved then and wasn't walking but i did have some convictions. though they were probably weak at best, one of them was to not mess with drugs. hard drugs. and i walked away from that living situation broken. i remember grieving her because our friendship pretty much dissolved after our rooming situation changed. i can't wrap my words around what is in my heart and what i want to share with you. so please bare with my loss for words. and forgive me if i lose you in any of this or if things don't tie together. but this is the truth.
i called her carter. and when i moved back to wilmington, after having been gone for the better part of four years (post-college), our lives merged again. there i was working with her. side-by-side. we made decisions together, walked together, she took care of my maddie dog when i went back and forth to winston as my grandad was dying. our friendship rekindled - as did my walk with the Lord. God brought me back to Port City church. and my spirit was refreshed with God's word. the friends i thought i would be hanging out with when i moved back to wilmington weren't who i found myself with. instead, God did something totally different to me. He pushed me toward things i was uncomfortable with. making new friends. but carter, she stayed constant. and she started to ask questions. she asked questions about God.
and it would be another two years, after she was married and i was married, that God would grip her in a way that neither of us - anyone - thought He would grip her. in her deepest grief, after losing her baby, she didn't find answers in Oprah, or a song or "in time you'll get through this" but God. it was somewhere in the quiet of her tears that she whispered for the Lord to please be near, and He was. in fact, He was always near. He was just waiting for her call. for her to recognize the Love that He was. and her life changed.
i don't know if i've ever seen a transformation, in a life, so intimately than i've seen in carter. to walk with her now is so different. to say that i'm blessed by her friendship is so small. but i don't know another word other than blessed that falls under the scope of the holiness of the One who saved us both and redeemed us from sin. i laugh so hard with carter. we share tears when we worry over our girls. we push each other in our roles as wives and direct each other back to God when our perspective is skewed. to call her my sister is an answered prayer. she is comfort and genuine and loving and kind and courageous. because for years she carried a secret. few knew of what her college experience looked like, at times. but on sunday, her thirtieth birthday, the tenth anniversary of our church's existence, she stood before a crowd of witnesses, two thousand or more in size, and publicly professed victory over something that once held her in bondage by guilt and fear and regret. but now she stands completely refreshed, redeemed and no longer identifies with her past but rather with who she really is. she is a child of a God. God's daughter. and living free.
i say all of this (i know. it's a lot.) because if it even impacts one of you, then that's enough. but most of you know her. you'll recognize her and her husband when you see her in this video. http://www.vimeo.com/7315415
most of your call her hilary. but the blessed of you can now call her Sister. because if you are in Christ, then that is who she is to you. and what a blessing that is. i hope that the rest of the testimonies that you see will transform you - will soften your heart and ready you.
our Lord loves you. whether you want Him to or not, He does.
God's peace,
Ashley
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