all i am is all i have

i've been listening to a song lately: alabaster box: and at first i just enjoyed listening to it and singing along. it's got a sweet melody and Loralai really liked singing the "la la la la" part - so i kept it on repeat while we would drive around town. but the more i've listened to it, the more it's taken on new meaning to me. the more that God has revealed Himself to me.

the lyrics go something like this:
all i am is all i have
all i have, all i have to give
and i give it all to You

it's my fragrant oil
it's my costly perfume
i'll take my alabaster box and i break it open
let the fragrance arise

let the fragrance arise

so take every song
every spoken word
all of my dance
all of my rhyme
i give it all to You

it's my fragrant oil
it's my costly perfume
i take my alabaster box
and i
i break it open

let the fragrance arise

....

and that's where it gets me. at first i was remembering the story about the woman who opened her alabaster jar and annointed Jesus prior to his death. i kept thinking about what a sacrifice it must have been for this woman to empty her jar of her costly perfume. the scented oils that could have gained her money for her family, she chose to pour out Jesus. i kept listening to this song thinking, 'wow. that woman was awesome.'

i mean really, there are so many things that i cling tightly to. and it's just stuff. like clothes, extra ice cream in the fridge (i mean let's be real), jewelry, art i've collected or done over the years, my car. there are things that i know it would be hard for me to hand over. to anyone. and that's kind of hard to say. to think that if i was asked to give away an extra tub of ice cream and i have to think twice about it, that pretty much stinks. i think that shouts that i'm a weeee bit stingy. but maybe the better thing would be to think that while i might have to think twice about it, what would i do? would i give up the car, the clothes, the house, the stuff...if someone else needed it?

would the fragrance arise?

all i am is all i have. and all i have, i'd give it all to You.
but would i? i'm hoping so. i'm working on that. and i'm realizing something. and that is, that it's becoming so much more clear to me, and apparent, that when i'm gone, it will only be how i opened my alabaster box and gave of my costly perfume that people will remember the fragrance.

the scent of love.

how else are we going to show the world the love of God if we cling so tightly to our stuff? or even more, our talents. i told todd lately that i just feel like i don't have a pat on the back feeling for doing a good job. and i do a good job at what i do, i think. but i think the part that's missing is that there's something else that God wants me to do. He wants me to use my talents. the gifts only He has given me. but what are they? that's where i need to press in to Him.

it will be then, when i start using my gifts, that my alabaster box can really start pouring out. so for right now, if you get an extra tub of ice cream from me, or some hand-me-down clothes, or an extra roll of paper towel, or a meal cooked, or a hug, or an email...know that i'm pouring out all that i have right now. because, right now, it's all i have to give. and i'll give it all for the glory of God.

and so as i think about a friend of mine whose precious week old baby girl is awaiting the diagnosis of possible meningitis, i wonder what it is that we can pour out? and i think it's love. love in the form of beseeching God to go before the doctors, the nurses, to remove any infection, to be near the baby's parents, to cover them in his protective wing...that the power of our prayers would be so loud and strong that what would arise would be a scent of Love so sweet. love so sweet that it stains the heart of this little baby forever so that when she's older and gives her heart to the Lord that she can recall those first days when she first felt love.

what is in us is enough and it's all that God asks of us. that we give of ourselves fully to Him so that He can do a work fully in us for the sake of His Kingdom.

i hope you enjoy the listen and will please lift up our dear friends' little baby, madeline.