lavish

so i was reading and came across this word: lavish.
it was talking about being lavished with love. like smothered, covered, washed over, engulfed in love.

i tried to think about lavishing love. how do i lavish love? who lavishes love on me? physically, i mean. in the here and now. presently on earth. and i started thinking about my loralai. and i'm pretty certain that i lavish her with love. i cover her sweet little body in kisses. i adore every inch of her being. i think from her brown eyes to her chubby little toes, i could just gaze at her little creation without looking away. i delight being in her presence and miss her when i'm away. and when i am away, i think about how i can love her more or better. i hope for wisdom in raising her and long to protect her. i think about every bite of food that goes into her mouth and carefully brush her soft brown hair so that it sweeps over just so in its precious baby-mullet little way. i clothe her and make certain that her clothes fit and are soft to her skin and clean and protect her where she needs covering. when she's in the sun, i make sure she has plenty of water to drink, a hat to break the sun's gaze on her face and sunscreen to keep from burning. i was created to cover this sweet little creation with love. and so i make it my job to do so. and i turns into my joy.

and then i think about my husband. and the more i fall in love with him, the more it comes to life that "i am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." that all of me is for him and all of him is for me. that there isn't an inch of this world i wouldn't give for a minute of his time. that there isn't a smil i'd rather see than his, a laugh i'd rather hear, a goofy joke i'd rather laugh at, advice i'd rather seek,wisdom i'd rather receive...than his. i am his, and he is mine. and i am covered in his love and he in mine.

and so when i read "How great is the Love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" i just sit in sweet awe. because i know for certain one thing: my lavish is not his lavish. and my lavish is nothing if He isn't in me. my attempt at love is pitiful and failing if i'm doing it for me and not for Him or if i think that i can make the mark by what i know and not allow him to work in me. do you hear what i'm saying?

because the Father sent his Son, we can be called children of God. without that sacrifice, we would still be working at reaching heaven. but now. now we're in kinship with the Son. we are children of God. sister, brother. daughter, son. how beautiful is that? i love my baby girl and i'm pretty sure that i love her in a different desperate way than i love other people - because i know she was given to me for a purpose, for my care and my charge is to show her love. God's holy sweet love. but when i read that God lavishes us with his love, i smile. because i know that his lavishing is far sweeter and covers way wider than my heart can conceive. and he loves us because. just because. because we are his and he is ours.

Jesus, I am yours and You are mine...because you first lavished your love on me.

mmm. that's some good stuff right there.